


But Did You Really Think I'd Shut an Open Door

by BeNiceToNerds



Category: RWBY
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, JNR and Oscarpin are there too, and as slow burn as i can get it in a oneshot, but I don't think I'd describe them as major characters so, canon compliant as of v5e10, in which i write 9.5 k words of serious fic about a crackship, so not that slow but at least i tried, so's Neptune
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 11:33:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13189200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeNiceToNerds/pseuds/BeNiceToNerds
Summary: In which Ilia Amitola helps save the city of Mistral, discovers that her unrequited straight girl crush is not as straight as originally thought (but just as unrequited), and learns to live with a Schnee.Also known as 'hey look I wrote 9.5 k of serious fic about a crackship'.





	But Did You Really Think I'd Shut an Open Door

**Author's Note:**

> Proper notes at the end, but for posterity I want it to be said here that this was written during the hiatus between volume 5 episodes 10 and 11.

You first meet Blake's human friends in the middle of a battle. There are two of them, small girls in red and grey, back to back against a sea of Grimm. Behind them, a giant spectral knight guards a crowd of terrified civilians sheltering in an overturned market cart. Later, you will think the scene has a strange sort of beauty, but now you just think of the fight ahead.

 

You – that is, the Belladonna's ragtag volunteer army – had arrived too late in Mistral. The White Fang's assault had already begun. Luckily, you weren't too late to be of any use. The city defences which had started to buckle found new vigour with the addition of your troops, and the last time you'd seen Ghira Belladona it looked as if the city walls were finally holding again. There was still the matter of clearing out the Grimm and White Fang that had already breached the city, though. You have to admit it feels nice to be playing the cavalry, even to humans.

 

This is the fourth or fifth group of civilians you've come across, but the first that have actual competent fighters attached to them. Good. It's been a long day of fighting through the city, and you're all starting to get tired. Sun is starting to favour his shoulder – you squash down a fresh pang of guilt, because now is really not the time – and you can tell that the two volunteers with you are having an even rougher time of it. Even Blake is slowing down, with slightly longer reaction times than usual. That's not ideal, given her fighting style.

 

You get really worried when she just stops for a few seconds in the middle of the fight and you have to whip away the Grimm that senses weakness and leaps at her. The body plummets away down the cliff you threw it over, and Blake seems to come back to herself.

 

"Ruby? Weiss?" She runs towards them, slashing at Grimm on her way. "What are you doing here?"

 

"Blake!" The girl in red – human, you note, probably – breaks from her friend to run towards Blake, carrying her ridiculously oversized scythe like it weighs nothing. "You came back!"

 

A beowolf dissolves into smoke on the tip of a rapier as the other new girl comes to join them, right hand on her hip. "Maybe we can have this conversation when we're _not_ in the middle of a fight?" She does stop to smile at Blake. "It's good to have you back."

 

It's only as she turns away, rapier at the ready, that you notice the awful, familiar logo on her back, and this time you're the one who pauses stupidly in the middle of a battle. That girl's a Schnee. Blake claims that humans aren't all bad, and you want to believe her, but a Schnee? A murderer? And Blake is happy to see her, and she seems happy to see Blake? You feel cold all over, and the colour change takes you before you even really notice.

 

For a brief, horrible second you feel nothing but betrayal. Blake had forgiven you, told you it would all be better, that there was another way for the faunus, and you, stupid, pathetic Ilia, with her dumb unrequited crash – you had actually believed her. And now she's working with a Schnee. Some faunus-rights activist she is.

 

You feel a hand settle on your shoulder.

 

"It's okay," Sun says. "Weiss is cool."

 

And suddenly you snap back to you. You trust Blake more than anyone. If she thinks the Schnee is trustworthy, that means she probably is, even if all your instincts are screaming at you that she's trouble.

 

Between the lot of you you make short work of the remaining Grimm. The civilians climb out from under the cart, stretching their legs but still looking pretty shaky. The giant knight takes a few steps towards you to stand behind the Schnee, who is breathing quite heavily. It's a striking sight, the girl and her knight, you think despite yourself.

 

The red girl folds her scythe down into something more manageable, sheathes it and runs towards Blake, stopping suddenly about a foot away and fiddling with her hands, like she doesn't know what to do with them without a weapon.

 

"You came back! Yang was so sure you wouldn't, but –"

 

Blake pales, and from your position behind her you can see that Gambol Shroud drops into place on her back rather than being placed there like it normally is.

 

"Yang is here?"

 

"Yeah! We got separated after the ambush at Haven, though." The girl frowns. "I haven't had a free moment to check on her since, I hope she's okay…"

 

"Scroll reception is still spotty," the Schnee says, looking up from her scroll, "I haven't been able to catch her. The last we saw her was out by Haven Academy," she gestures, "that's where we got separated."

 

"I'm sure she'll be fine," says the red girl. "She can handle herself, and she had Jaune with her. We need to get these people to safety, then we can look for her and the others."

 

"We can split up," Sun says, and goes to say more, but Blake has already gone. "Damn it, Blake, I thought you were over this whole running off by yourself thing…"

 

"Apparently not," says the Schnee. She adds, so softly that you don't think you're supposed to hear, "Ugh, this is just like Beacon all over again."

 

Every second they waste talking is another second your closest friend goes into certain danger in her own, and another second for you to lose her trail.

 

"I'm going after her," you say.

 

"Me too," says Sun.

 

The red girl nods. "Alright, we'll take the civilians then."

 

"We can take you to one of the safehouses we've been setting up," offers Ash, one of your volunteers from Menagerie.

 

"Thanks," says the girl in red. She turns and walks back towards the group of civilians, saying something chipper and reassuring to them.

 

You turn to leap onto the rooftop, impatient to go find Blake. As you go, though, you hear the Schnee call to Sun.

 

"Take care of her, will you?"

 

"Which one?" Sun asks.

 

The Schnee's voice is soft she replies. "Both of them."

 

…

 

By the time you and Sun find Blake she is no longer alone. She is on one side of a courtyard arguing with a tall, blonde, human girl with a prosthetic arm. On the other side of the courtyard three other humans, two boys and a girl, about your age and all armed, stand awkwardly watching them. Any Grimm that might have been there have long since faded into mist. You can't make out exactly what Blake and the girl are arguing about – you pick out chunks of sentence, words like 'leave' and 'need' and 'Adam' and 'hurt', but not the whole thing – but even from your position on the roof you can tell that they're both crying.

 

Sun drops down from the roof next to a blonde human boy.

 

"Sup, Jaune."

 

The boy looks at him, surprisingly unfazed. "Hey, Sun."

 

"They been at it long?"

 

"Five minutes?"

 

"Great." Sun sighs and plops to the ground, back against the wall. "Well, I guess we should let them work it out."

 

"We thought that would be wise," says the other human boy. To you, still on the roof, he says, "you can come down now."

 

You jump down to land with the group, surprised and mildly ashamed. It's not often that a human can spot you.

 

"Ilia, meet Nora, Ren, and Jaune," Sun says. "The one over there with Blake is Yang."

 

"Hey," you say to the humans, but your attention is on Blake. The argument seems to be winding down. The blonde scrubs at her eyes with her left forearm, and Blake gives her a weak smile. She's still upset, though; you can tell by the way her ears droop. She reaches out, towards the human's prosthetic arm, and the other girl flinches, eyes turning red.

 

You're a chameleon faunus; you know better than most the importance of colour changes. And you're still twitchy from hours of fighting Grimm and the organisation you used to be a part of, and the knowledge that there are probably some still around. Before you even know it your instincts carry you most of the way towards Blake, weapon drawn in sword mode.

 

"Back off," you hear yourself say.

 

Blake throws a hand out, moving between you and the girl. "Ilia, don't. It's fine. It was my fault, anyway." She turns back to the girl. "I'm sorry, Yang. I shouldn't have tried to touch you without asking."

 

"It's okay," the girl – Yang – says.

 

With the way her normal limb shakes, so hard she has to steady it with the prosthetic, it's obvious she's lying. Blake must see it too, but she says nothing. Neither do you. It's not your place, to call out a girl you barely know.

 

Yang turns to look at you. "Who's the new girl?" she asks.

 

"Ilia, an old friend of mine," Blake tells her. She raises an eyebrow at you. "Who should really know better than to leap to conclusions about other people changing colour."

 

Your own chameleon nature is exactly why you should and do leap to conclusions when other people change colour, but you don't tell her that. Instead, you sheathe your weapon.

 

"Sorry," you say.

 

"Right, old friend," Yang says. After a slightly too long pause she adds, "anyway, I'm going to go find Ruby and Weiss."

 

"I know where they are," Blake says. "I can come with you?"

 

"Nah, I can manage on my own. Laters."

 

"Yang, I –" Blake starts.

 

The blonde girl is already walking off, though, walk slightly too casual to be anything but forced. Blake watches her go and then sags, posture slumped and ears drooping.

 

Sun walks up and places a hand on her shoulder. "Hey."

 

Wordlessly, she leans into his touch, pressing her head into his chest to turn it into a proper hug. You watch, feeling helpless and a little bit jealous. You've never really been one for platonic physicality, even before your feelings for Blake morphed into something you couldn't control. But also, feelings or not, your best friend is clearly miserable, but without knowing any of the context you're not sure what you can do to help.

 

"You alright?" Sun asks, which is dumb because she's very clearly not.

 

"No," Blake says into his chest.

 

Sun says nothing, but you can see his arms tighten around her.

 

"You know how a few months ago I said I hoped she'd hate me," Blake mumbles after a while, so soft you're almost sure you're not supposed to hear. "I still think I deserve it, but I don't think I realised how much it would hurt."

 

And that's how they find you, later. The three of you, heroes who saved Mistral at the eleventh hour, standing in an abandoned battlefield, as you watch your best friend cry over another girl against someone else's chest.

 

…

 

You remember a conversation you'd had with Sun, on the _Pride_ on the way to Mistral. You had both been busy training new recruits, but other than that you'd kept to yourself, mostly. Blake's good word was enough for most people, but you had been a member of the terrorist organisation you were now getting ready to fight against only a few short weeks ago. Most people were wary of you, and you didn't really blame them. Sun, though, wasn't wary at all, even though out of all of them he probably had the best reason to be. He'd even asked to spar with you, despite the fact that you had literally stabbed him the first time you'd fought.

 

That time, you'd called it a draw, and he was lying on his back on the deck of the ship, limbs spread out, grinning at you and breathing heavily.

 

"Wow, you fight a lot like Blake does," he'd said. "I didn't notice, before."

 

If there was some point he was trying to make, you didn't get it.

 

"Well, we were trained by the same people," you'd said instead.

 

"Yeah, that would make sense." There was a bit of a pause, and then he added, "you know, I think you two have quite a bit in common."

 

You'd narrowed your eyes. "If this is some kind of come on, monkey boy, I'm not interested. I don't swing that way."

 

He'd laughed, awkwardly. "Don't worry," he said. "I think that's something we have in common."

 

"What, you're gay?" You tried to keep the incredulousity out of your voice and failed. You'd be blind not to have noticed the way he looked at Blake. You'd worn the same expression often enough yourself, after all.

 

Sun's grin faded into something much more bittersweet. "No, we're both pining after a friend who's clearly not interested in either of us. Don't get me wrong – you're similar to Blake, but you're not her."

 

"At least she's interested in your gender," you'd said, because fuck it, this was all out in the open anyway. "I never had a shot."

 

Sun sat up at that and stared at you.

 

"What?" you'd asked, after a few seconds.

 

"You're seriously telling me that you think Blake's straight," he said. "Dude, there were a few months when I was convinced she was gay."

 

"But Adam…"

 

"Yeah, that was what told me she must be bi or something. But there was this girl at Beacon. Tall, blonde, told awful puns… I've never seen her look at anyone else that way." He'd smiled crookedly and pushed himself to his feet. "Anyway, you ready for another bout?"

 

It's not that you'd thought Sun was lying to you, but you hadn't really believed him. Not until you see the way Blake's eyes track Yang's retreating form, not until you see her collapse into Sun's arms once the other girl leaves.

 

…

 

A lot happens in the days after you come to the rescue in Mistral. With its headmaster revealed as a traitor and no line of succession in place, Haven Academy never ends up opening for the fall semester. It's teachers and students work with your Menagerian volunteer army to rebuild the city and man the walls in case of a follow-up attack. An old man sharing a body with a fourteen-year-old boy – which you definitely have not gotten used to yet – takes you, Blake and Sun aside and explains to you about Salem, the maidens and the relics. It turns out that Adam is working for Salem, which is all Blake needs to hear before she agrees to stay with their group and help. You stay with her, because of course you will. You defected from the White Fang for her, after all. Besides, with Blake and Sun both gone, things might get a little more awkward between you and the rest of the Belladonna's army.

 

Turns out that although you did stop Haven from falling the same way Beacon did, the relic that was hidden there has gone missing. Ozpin doesn't think Salem has it – "if she did, we'd already know" – instead, he thinks it's been claimed by someone called Raven Branwen. You don't recognise the name, and neither do Sun and his new friend Neptune, but it seems to provoke pretty complicated feelings amongst the rest of the group.

 

Raven and her associated maiden have gone to ground, and all of the White Fang's old haunts in Mistral are completely abandoned, so while her brother searches for her the rest of you have nothing better to do but train. A few members of the group are pretty disgruntled about this, but they come around pretty quickly when they realise that none of them has a plan as to how to find Raven (or Adam's White Fang, for that matter, though Blake is definitely the driving force of that search) or what to do when they find them. And, as Ozpin keeps telling you, none of you are a match for a full-blown maiden.

 

And that's how you find yourself back at school for the first time in years, training with ten other students – one which alternates between being the teacher and beginner of the group. It would be an understatement to say that this is not where you imagined yourself being even a month ago – there are a lot more humans than you bargained for, for one, which you're still getting used to – but, to your surprise, you find you kind of like it. It's a refreshing change to not have to struggle with your morality over every decision you make. The White Fang had changed gradually, without you really noticing, and by the time you'd started questioning whether you are really doing the right thing it was already too late to back out, or so you'd thought. It's nice not to have to rationalise to yourself that you're doing the right thing.

 

The humans are nice enough as well, for the most part. There is Sun's friend Neptune, who Sun vanished for a few days just after the rescue to bring back, and who apparently hadn't known how long Sun was going to abandon him for. Neptune shares Sun's tendency to sometimes put his foot in his mouth but otherwise he seems nice enough. He proudly claims a faunus as his best friend, too, which definitely puts him in your good books.

 

There is Jaune, the blonde boy. He keeps to himself, for the most part, and you often catch him training long after everyone else has stopped. Eventually, you find out that his girlfriend or someone was killed during the attack at Beacon.

 

Closest to him are Ren and Nora, an unlikely pair who are nonetheless pretty much inseparable. You like Ren well enough – he is good company, and he knows when to keep his mouth closed – but Nora rubs you a little the wrong way with her complete lack of tact. Your ability to pass for human is both a blessing and a curse, and you really don't need yet another clueless person commenting on it.

 

The red girl you met the night of the attack is Ruby, Yang's little sister. Everyone looks up to her, and it's easy to see why. She is a natural born leader, always there to keep the enthusiasm levels up even after yet another gruelling training session with no obvious results. You like her, and she effortlessly welcomes you into their circle.

 

"Any friend of Blake is a friend of mine," she says, and that is that.

 

As for her sister, Yang, you don't spend that much time around her. Tensions are still there between her and Blake, and it's obvious to everyone which side you're on. And yeah, alright, maybe you're a little jealous of the way Blake looks at her, even now, much more like the way she used to look at Adam then any way she's ever looked at you.

 

Then there's the Schnee. You avoid her as much as possible, that goes without saying.

 

…

 

You find Blake on the roof. It's a thing you've always had in common, the need to go outside to think, to get somewhere above the ground. It's not the easiest climb to get there but for you it's barely a challenge.

 

"Hey," she says, and pats the spot next to her. "Sit with me?"

 

"Sure," you say, like that isn't why you came to find her, and sit.

 

There is silence, for a while. You watch the lights of Mistral in the dark, workers even now rebuilding the city, others going home to their families, others just walking around and enjoying being alive. Out in the distance, further than even your vision, you know the rest of the volunteer army is stationed at the city wall.

 

This is nice. It's almost how it used to be, back in the old days. Just forget about all your human allies in the building below you.

 

"You know, I heard about the bow you used to wear," you say eventually. "Back at Beacon."

 

Blake's voice is soft, when she replies. "I was wondering when that would come up." She doesn't meet your eyes. "I bet you think I'm such a hypocrite."

 

"Hey," you say, "you know I'm not in any position to judge you for passing for human."

 

"But I knew how well it worked for you and I did it anyway." She sighs. "I'm such a coward."

 

"Blake –"

 

"No, but I am. For a long time I did nothing but run, Ilia. When Dad left the White Fang I argued with him. I called him a coward, a traitor, and then I couldn't face what I'd said to my parents, so I ran from them and into Adam's arms. When I realised what he was becoming, I ran again. I didn't even say goodbye to you."

 

That one had stung, you can't lie. It had taken you a long time to recover from the shock of Blake leaving the White Fang, leaving you.

 

She gazes at the city lights, beautiful as they reflect from her hair and eyes, and keeps going.

 

"I didn't start wearing the bow to pass as human, you know. I just – after I left, I didn't want anyone to be able to find me. I figured my ears were my most recognisable feature, so I hid them in a bow. Then I realised that people were treating me differently. They thought I was human. I liked it, so I kept it. Even though it made me feel really guilty at the same time. I spent most of my first semester at Beacon terrified that someone would find out, that they'd stop treating me like everyone else. There was even this other faunus girl, Velvet, in the year above us. People would pick on her, pull her ears, you know the gist. I was too scared to help her, because what if someone found out? Actually, Yang was the first of us to stand up for her."

 

Blake smiles, soft and wistful, and instead of the usual jealousy you just feel a sudden burst of affection for your friend.

 

"And then they did find out, and I ran again. Ruby found me, brought me back, and you know what? They didn't even care. They were just happy I was okay, after I'd run off on them."

 

Now the jealousy comes. You wish things had gone even remotely that smoothly when you'd outed yourself as a faunus, back in Atlas.

 

But still. Something seems off. It takes you a second to figure out why.

 

"Even the Schnee?" You can't help but ask.

 

"Yes, even Weiss." She smiles again. "I was surprised as you are."

 

Her smile drops, and she continues.

 

"And then the attack on Beacon happened, and Adam found me. Yang found me with him, bleeding out on the ground." Her voice shakes. "She threw herself between us. She lost her arm saving me, and then I ran again, before she even woke up. I was so scared of what might happen to her. I didn't even think about how much it would hurt her to have me leave, even though I should have known." Blake stops, wipes a tear from her cheek, continues. "And now she says she's glad to have me back, but she's so distant all the time. I want her trust back, but I know I don't deserve it."

 

You brave placing a hand on her shoulder. "You know, I pretty clearly remember you refusing to run away from Menagerie, no matter how often I warned you to. You never gave up on me, even though it would have been easier to run. You worked so hard to get us here and stop the White Fang. And you've stopped hiding your ears. That girl who ran isn't you anymore, Blake." After a second's thought, you add, " And if Yang doesn't believe it – well, you just have to show her. I know you can."

 

Your friend looks across at you, smiles weakly. "What did I do to get a friend like you?"

 

"The same thing I did to get you, I guess," you say.

 

…

 

Of course, as much as you try to avoid the Schnee, you are sort of living together now. Even with the better part of a dozen other people in the house you can't completely avoid her forever, no matter how much you really really want to. It all comes to a head one day about a week into your stay.

 

The Schnee is everywhere you turn that morning. She's in the kitchen, talking quietly with Blake over steaming hot mugs.

 

"Good morning," she says when you walk in. "Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea?"

 

"I don't need anything from you," you snap, and leave before you can feel guilty about the way the Schnee's shoulders slump, Blake's disapproving eyebrow.

 

She's in the weapons room with Ruby when you go down there to look over your weapon before morning training, wiping a cloth over the revolving dust canister at the base of her sword as Ruby's weapon lies in pieces on the foldable table.

 

"Hey, Ilia," Ruby chimes when she sees you. "You want to join us?"

 

"I'm good," you say, possibly slightly harsher than strictly necessary, grab your weapon and walk away. You can check over it somewhere else.

 

She's outside with Neptune after morning training, sitting on the ground at the edge of the cliff. They both laugh, she elbows him in the side, and then he stands up and pulls her to her feet. They turn to head inside and you're forced to move out of the way to let them through the doorway.

 

You accidentally make eye contact with Schnee, scowl, and look away.

 

It all comes to a head that afternoon, when you end up paired up with her for sparring practice. Good, part of you thinks savagely. If you haven't been able to avoid her all day at least you can take it out on her now.

 

The Schnee is a good fighter, you give her that. Left-handed, too, a definite advantage against people trained mostly on right-handed opponents. You have more reach but she keeps closing the gap with her semblance, and for a while you're pretty evenly matched. Eventually, though, you manage to whip away her weapon, and while she puts on a good fight it's pretty much over after that. You get her on the ground, sword at her throat.

 

It would be so easy to say that you don't know what happens next. That you lose control, that you don't know what comes over you. But that's not true. The ugly truth is that you know exactly what you're doing. You're attacking an opponent who has yielded because she's been getting on your nerves today, because you think she deserves it.

 

A few hits in you stop, because she isn't fighting back.

 

"I'm – I'm sorry," you say, and offer her a hand up.

 

She doesn't take it, pushes herself up from the ground without your help, picks her weapon up from the dust – all with a strange sort of dignity.

 

"I hope you've gotten it out of your system," she says with her back to you.

 

You look down at your feet, suddenly ashamed, and say nothing.

 

She walks away, back into the house. Beside her, just for a few seconds, her spectral knight appears. A final _fuck you_ , a reminder that she could have fought back if she wanted to.

 

…

 

"Look, we need to talk," the Schnee says, ambushing you after dinner.

 

"I'd really rather not," you reply. You go to push past her, but she sidesteps, blocking your path. For someone even shorter than you are she's surprisingly imposing.

 

"Well, you don't have a choice. We can do it here, in front of everyone, or we can go somewhere private, but we are going to talk."

 

"Fine," you say, and this time when you move to walk away she lets you past and follows you back outside.

 

"I hope you know what happened today was unacceptable," she says, once you stop in the middle of the hard dirt yard.

 

"Are you here to lecture me, or are we here to talk?"

 

"Look, I get why you don't trust me. The Schnee Dust Company doesn't have the best track record when it comes to faunus rights, I'll be the first to admit that. But taking your anger out on me is not okay, not when we're supposed to work together. Please don't let it happen again."

 

"But it is okay when SDC overseers take their anger out on faunus workers?" You can't help but bait her.

 

Surprisingly, she doesn't respond the way you expect. "Obviously not! A lot of the way the company operates now is not okay, and it needs changing."

 

If the answer is supposed to placate you she's badly miscalculated. "Sure, you can say that, I hope it helps you sleep better at night. Fat lot you've done to actually change it, though."

 

At that you can see an actual flash of hurt in her eyes. "You know nothing about me."

 

"I know everything I need to," you snap. "I'm sorry about today, it won't happen again, but I won't forget you have blood on your hands. My parents died in one of your company's stupid mines!"

 

"Ilia, I'm sorry…" She reaches out, and you slap her hand away.

 

"Oh, spare me your fake pity, Princess. If you were actually sorry you'd have stopped it from happening."

 

"I was a child!" she yells. "I was a child, what do you think I could do?"

 

"I don't know, something!"

 

"Yeah," she says, surprisingly bitterly, "well the last time I tried standing up to my father he had me disinherited and placed under house arrest, so good luck with that."

 

That actually shocks you. "I didn't know," you say, after a few seconds.

 

She sighs. "Of course you didn't. You just looked at me and saw a Schnee, your enemy, not that I blame you. But you didn't even try to think why Blake trusted me if that's all I was."

 

"I…" You go to defend yourself, and then stop. "Yeah, you're right."

 

It's almost as if she senses how hard that was to say, because she doesn't gloat or even look smug like you expected. "I know you have no reason to trust me. I don't expect you to straight away. But we're going to be working together, so can we at least try? I'll show you that I'm not the person you think I am, if you just give me a chance."

 

"Yeah, okay," you say, because what else can you do?

 

…

 

Things get better after that. You stop avoiding the Schnee even if you don't actively seek her out. No one pairs you up in training anymore. They all remember the last time, even if they don't really talk about it. It's still hard, though, for you to see her as a person and not just a Schnee.

 

You go to Blake for help.

 

"You know, we weren't really friends," she says when you ask her. "Not for a long time. I wasn't much happier than you are now to have her on my team. But I couldn't exactly say why, not without outing myself as a faunus."

 

"What changed?" you ask.

 

She shrugs. "I don't know. I guess I just started seeing her as a person. We both put a lot of walls up back then. I guess we started to let each other in. We had a lot in common, funnily enough. She hated what the Schnee Dust Company had become as much as I did, that helped. We saved each other's lives more times than I can count – that helped too."

 

Blake stops and looks at you oddly.

 

"What?" you ask.

 

"You know, in some ways you two remind me of each other," she says.

 

"You're kidding."

 

"No, really," she says. "Neither of you ever take the easy way, or do something just because it's expected of you. I've always admired that about both of you. Neither of you are perfect, and you've both done things you're not proud of, but you don't let that define you. You both have pride, but you don't let that get in the way of admitting you're wrong when you need to."

 

"Is that a hint that I should apologise to Weiss?" you joke, to deflect from the pinkness you know has worked its way into your freckles.

 

"You know," Blake says, "I think that's the first time I've heard you call her that."

 

"I guess it is," you say.

 

…

 

You start paying attention to Weiss, then, thinking that if you just study her hard enough you can understand what everyone else sees in her. As a result, you learn a lot of little things about Weiss Schnee.

 

You learn that although she tends to be up early by habit, she is not actually a morning person, and wanders around like a zombie until her first cup of coffee. You learn that she's made a point of learning if and how everyone else takes their morning drinks – Ruby with her painfully diluted coffee, Blake with her painfully overbrewed tea, Sun with his milk straight from the fridge – and having it ready for them in the morning. You learn that she does the same for you, without making a fuss, once you let her know how you like your tea (no milk or sugar, like Blake, but not as horrifically overbrewed).

 

You learn that she's her own worst critic, catching her own mistakes in training before anyone else does. You learn that she stays late with Jaune, sometimes, to practice, and you learn that this is new, that she barely gave him the time of day at Beacon.

 

"It probably helps that he's stopped flirting with her," Ren observes.

 

Nora nods. "I love the guy, but he was kind of obnoxious," she says, completely missing the irony.

 

You learn that she actually has a sense of humour, sly wit and sarcasm mixing with puns awful enough to rival Sun or Yang. You learn that she can banter endlessly with Ruby until everyone else has no choice but to tune them out, and Yang and Blake's eyes met across the table in mutual resignation until they realise what they're doing and look away awkwardly.

 

You realise she cares endlessly about her friends, in little ways and in big ones. And, at some point, to your own dismay, you realise that you're beginning to hope she considers you one too.

 

…

 

One day Ozpin decides that it's time for some dedicated semblance training, much to your dismay. You scowl as you slink across to join Jaune and Oscar in the kiddie corner.

 

"I can still kick all your butts," you mutter and Blake, the damned four-eared traitor, smirks at you.

 

"Wait, you seriously don't know what your semblance is yet?" Nora asks, way too loudly. "What about your colour changing thing?"

 

"That's a faunus trait, not a semblance," you tell her and then, spur-of-the-moment, smirk and add, "and I don't think being really, really gay counts as a semblance."

 

"It can't, or else I'd have two," Yang says, and high-fives Ruby.

 

Everyone spins to look at her, and you don't know whether to be proud or offended that she's eliciting way more of a reaction than you did. But seriously? Did everyone else somehow miss the way she and Blake have been dancing around each other the entire time you've been here?

 

You look at the crowd again. Blake's checks have gone pink, and Sun elbows her. Ruby is grinning along with her sister. Weiss has a soft smile on her face as she looks at her friend and roommate, with a tinge of something else you can't quite recognise. Okay, so not quite everyone.

 

You find your attention drawn back to Weiss.

 

"Problem, Princess?"

 

She rolls her eyes at you. "Obviously not."

 

Weiss turns back to the others. "Are we going to stand around gossiping all day, or are we getting back to training?"

 

"Yes, I believe Ms Schnee has the right idea," says Ozpin.

 

"Teacher's pet," mutters Ruby, and Weiss sticks her tongue out at her.

 

…

 

"… I mean I'd be blind not to see it, but I just assumed you were bisexual," you hear, as you walk past the cracked-open door to Weiss and Yang's room. Something makes you stop, blend into the wall.

 

"I didn't pick you for the kind of person to do the whole performative deception thing. It doesn't seem like something you do, more like something…" Weiss' voice trails off.

 

When Yang replies, her voice is tinged with amusement. "More like something you would do, right?"

 

"I – … Yeah."

 

"I don't know who you thought you were fooling, Ice Queen, but it definitely wasn't us."

 

"Myself, mostly," Weiss says wryly. "In my defence, I had a very sheltered upbringing, and a very demanding father. I don't know what your excuse is."

 

"I don't really know, you know? I knew no one would care, but everyone just kind of assumed. Flirting is fun, and it was easy to let everyone else just draw their own conclusions. You're not the only one who's ever done what's expected just because it's easier."

 

It takes Weiss a while to reply.

 

"But it's not, really," she finally says.

 

"Well, easy's boring anyway," says Yang.

 

Weiss laughs. "Now you sound more like yourself. I'll remind you of that next time you're trying to sneak my homework." She pauses. "You know, if we ever end up at school again."

 

"Dust help us," Yang says, laughing with her.

 

You take that as your cue to sneak off. As you walk away, returning to your normal colour, you wonder why it is that you'd even paused to listen in the first place.

 

…

 

The next time you have semblance training you end up paired with Weiss again for the first time since that disastrous spar, what feels like forever ago. Oscar and Jaune, being much closer to each other's level than to yours, practice normal combat. You get horde training – you fight whatever summons Weiss can throw at you. It couples as stamina training for her, pushing the limits of how much she can summon at once and for how long.

 

It's surprisingly fun. She runs out of Grimm summons before you get overwhelmed, and you flop down together on the edge of the cliff to take a break.

 

"You should make her fight the knight, next," Ruby suggests, sitting on Weiss' other side. She is drenched in sweat from the continual super-speed laps she's been running.

 

A shadow sweeps over Weiss' face, and she shakes her head. "I'd really rather not."

 

She reaches up to touch her scar, almost unconsciously, and your eyes track her hand up. Her fingers are small and slender, her nails kept short for practicality but impeccably manicured. You can't help but compare them to yours, bitten ragged. You wonder what your hands would look like, together with hers.

 

"More Grimm is fine," you say, to distract yourself from the unexpected thought, and to see the gratitude and relief on Weiss' face.

 

She's a Schnee, you remind yourself, what are you doing, but you know that stopped mattering a long time ago.

 

…

 

It really shouldn't be a surprise when you open the door one evening to the room you share with Blake and find Yang already in there, making out with your roommate, best friend and, unfortunately, long-time unrequited crush. Luckily, they seem a little preoccupied to notice you, and you manage to close the door quietly and back away.

 

Your stomach feels heavy, and your throat has a lump in it. You knew this was coming, everyone did, but that doesn't entirely dull the pain of seeing it actually happen.

 

The first person you run into as you walk away from there is Weiss.

 

"Hey, Ilia," she says, and then looks at you more closely. "Are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine," you say, and almost mean it. "Can I stay in your room today, though? Mine's, um... In use. And I don't think your roommate will be coming back anytime soon."

 

She picks up on your meaning almost immediately. "It finally happened? Dust, it's about time." You don't think you've ever seen Weiss smile so widely, and suddenly the sinking feeling in your stomach is replaced by another sensation you don't want to think too deeply about right this second.

 

"It really is," you say, and find you feel genuinely happy for your friends.

 

As you talk you follow her down the hall towards the room she usually shares with Yang. She pushes the door open and gestures for you to go in first.

 

"Do you want me to swap with Nora or Ruby?" she asks. "Or Sun? I know we're doing a lot better now, but I understand if you still don't feel comfortable rooming with me."

 

"No, it's fine," you say, too quickly. "We're friends, aren't we?"

 

She smiles at you again, blue eyes moist. "Yes, we are."

 

…

 

Blake and Yang are the last to arrive at breakfast that day and they show up together, Blake's right hand laced through Yang's left. It takes the table a second to realise what's going on but then everyone erupts into cheers. Neptune wolf-whistles and Sun elbows him. Ruby jumps up from her chair, dragging Weiss with her, to envelop the pair in a hug. They stand there for a second, the four members of Blake's old Beacon team, until Nora dives into them and almost knocks the whole group over.

 

After that, they all come back to breakfast. Blake slides into the empty chair next to you. You meet her eyes and place a hand on her shoulder.

 

"I'm happy for you," you say. You'd never told her that about Adam, but with Yang you actually mean it.

 

Blake's cheeks are a permanent light pink this morning. "I'm glad."

 

"But, you know, maybe let me actually sleep in my own room next time," you say, slightly louder, because she is still your best friend and, as you've known for a long time, surprisingly fun to tease. You're rewarded when her cheeks get pinker, and she doesn't meet your eyes.

 

Weiss looks at you from her position across the table and smirks deliberately. "What, am I not good enough company for you?"

 

Your brain short-circuits at that – wait, is she actually flirting with you, or are you just misreading it? – and you can't come up with a good reply in time. Instead, you settle for glaring at her, and she grins back.

 

"What?" you ask, when you notice everyone else looking at the two of you. "Where else was I supposed to sleep when they were hooking up in my room?"

 

Blake, at least, has the courtesy to look embarrassed at that, but Yang just meets your gaze and smirks.

 

"Sorry," Yang says, not looking sorry at all. "I'd say it won't happen again, but…"

 

Weiss sighs. "We don't actually mind, just let us know in advance next time?"

 

"I make no promises I can't keep," says Yang, entirely too smug.

 

Ruby points an accusing finger at her. "That is a blatant lie and you know it."

 

"From my own sister!" Yang clutches her heart dramatically. "I'm wounded, Ruby, wounded."

 

Beside you, watching the sisters, Blake chuckles quietly. Opposite you, Weiss is hiding a smile of her own behind a mug of coffee. You feel yourself filled with a sudden rush of contentment. This is so different from the future the you of a few months ago would have envisioned, but as you look around at your friends, unlikely as some of them are, you realise that there's nowhere else you'd rather be.

 

…

 

It turns out Yang was right not to make promises, because while that night is the first you spend rooming with Weiss it definitely isn't the last. Usually they do actually have the courtesy to warn you, but not always.

 

"It's the honeymoon period," Weiss sighs, when they oust you from your room for the third time in a week. "They'll get over it eventually."

 

"What, am I not good enough company for you?" you ask, echoing her words from that first breakfast.

 

Instead of getting flustered, like you did, Weiss smirks back at you. "Oh, no, you're perfectly adequate company."

 

"Only adequate?"

 

She pretends to think about it for a few seconds. "Yes, only adequate. There is definitely some room for improvement."

 

"Oh yeah?"

 

"Absolutely," she says, as the door opens and Ruby sticks her head in.

 

"We need another hand for cards, either of you in?"

 

"Yes," you and Weiss say together, too quickly, and that is the end of that. As you walk downstairs with the others, a step behind Weiss and Ruby, you feel a strange mixture of disappointment and relief that that conversation hadn't gone any further.

 

…

 

"Do you mind if I ask why you don't want me fighting your knight?" you ask Weiss after another semblance training session.

 

When she's training on her own she has no problem summoning the knight, going through forms with it, but when she's doing horde training with you she sticks exclusively to Grimm. You could attribute it to the knight being harder to summon, but since part of the point of that specific training is to increase her stamina that makes no sense. Also, you remember her reaction when Ruby asked about it before.

 

Weiss sighs. "It's complicated."

 

"Then forget I asked," you say.

 

"No, it's okay. I don't mind telling you." Again, her fingers reach up to brush the scar over her left eye. "My father didn't want me to be a huntress, and he especially didn't want me to go all the way to Beacon. He wanted me under his roof, where he could keep an eye on me. Like a good little heiress. After what had happened with my sister Winter, he didn't want another of his children 'betraying' him."

 

She laughs, slightly bitterly. "And look where I am now. I suppose he was right to worry. Anyway, I argued with him for months. He yelled, threw things, but I didn't back down. Eventually I guess I wore him out, because he agreed to let me go to Beacon – on one condition."

 

You have a sinking feeling you know where this is going. "Did he… give you that scar?"

 

"Oh, no. Father would never hit me so that it left a mark. Think of the family reputation. No, he devised a test. It was meant to show me how worthless I really was, I think, that I was dreaming if I actually thought I could succeed at Beacon. He got some of the company scientists to bind a Grimm into a suit of armour like the statues adorning the family mansion, and he made me fight it. He wasn't expecting me to actually win."

 

"The knight," you say.

 

"Exactly. I almost lost. I was sloppy, and didn't put my aura up in time. That's how I got this scar. And then I looked up, blood streaming down my face, and I saw him watching from a balcony. He was so smug, convinced he had taught me a lesson. He was even clapping sardonically. I couldn't let him win."

 

You chance reaching over to squeeze her shoulder in reassurance, and when she smiles back gratefully you know you've made the right decision.

 

"And you didn't, right? You're here now, not back there with him."

 

"No, I didn't. I won the fight, and went to Beacon, but I still wasn't really free of him. It wasn't until I'd properly made my mind up to defy him and leave him completely that I was fully able to summon it. It's my favourite summon, because of that. But… I'm scared to see you, or any of our friends really, fight it one-on-one. It's too much like that day."

 

She shakes her head, as is to clear the memory, and pushes herself to her feet. "Anyway, shall we get back to it?"

 

"Weiss, I'm sorry," you say.

 

She looks back at you, head tilted slightly. "What for? You're not my father, and I said I didn't mind telling you."

 

"No, not for that. For misjudging you back when we first met. I don't think I ever apologised, so I'm doing that now. You're not your father, Weiss."

 

She smiles and offers her hand to pull you to your feet. "I know. But, thank you."

 

…

 

Somehow, after that, you realise that you're spending more time with Weiss than with anyone else, even Blake. You tell her about your parents' death, about your time at school in Atlas. She tells you about demanding private tutors and high society parties. You bond over how awful Atlesian society can be, but also about how you both miss seeing lights in the sky at winter, the beauty of the still-cold Atlesian spring.

 

You trade good stories, too, of memories from your early childhood. She tells you of her sister, and her mother before the drinking started. In return, you tell her of your parents, and of community bonfire parties in Mantle. You compare anecdotes of Blake, at Beacon and in the White Fang. Then, when those start running thin, you compare more general tales, of near misses and exciting missions. Her time at Beacon was an awful lot more exciting than you remember school as being.

 

She tells you of her struggle to overcome her racist programming, and to stop blaming the faunus for her father's actions. You tell her of everything that happened with the Belladonas and the White Fang on Menagerie. And, after those difficult conversations, you forgive each other.

 

Your time with Weiss isn't all serious conversations. You start sparring with her, again, and somehow you both manage to laugh about what happened the first time. You play cards with the others and too many players means you end up on a team with her, bickering over what card to play next. You hang out with her and Ruby and enjoy just sitting back and watching their back-and-forth.

 

The flirting isn't a one-off thing, either, but something that just keeps happening. Sometimes you start it, sometimes she does, but it's never one-sided. She gives as good as she gets, you learn. For now, the flirting just stays flirting, with you both backing off before it gets too real, but it's only a matter of time.

 

Or maybe that's just wishful thinking. You're not dumb – you know what this means. Any residual feelings you once had for Blake are long gone, replaced by ones for Weiss Schnee, of all people. You'd say you don't know how it happened, but of course you do.

 

…

 

"So, you and Weiss," Blake says one night as you're getting ready for bed. You're in your own room, tonight, and as happy as you are to spend some more time with Blake you find you're actually kind of missing Weiss.

 

"What about us?" you say, trying to feign ignorance, but you can already feel yourself turning pink as you speak.

 

She raises an eyebrow at you. "Ilia, I'm not stupid."

 

"Could have fooled me," you mutter, but of course her sharp hearing catches it.

 

"It's different when it's you," she says, defensive. "Anyway, you're deflecting."

 

"Okay, fine, yes," you say. "Maybe I have a thing for her, what of it?"

 

It's weird, opening up about this to Blake. You know that talking about crushes is a stereotypical best friend thing, but you never really have with her. A little about Yang, maybe, but not that much. It's kind of different when the person you have a crush on _is_ your best friend. This is weird, and new, but also kind of nice.

 

"I just wanted to hear you say it," she says.

 

"There, I did." You cross your arms. "Happy now?"

 

"Very." She looks entirely too smug, and you resist the urge to throw a pillow at her.

 

"Great, now can we drop it?"

 

"Alright." Her voice gets more serious. "Just, Ilia? We're training now, but that won't last forever. Any day now we could get a lead, and then who knows what will happen?"

 

"Right, seize the day and go for it, I get it. Since when are you the one to live in the moment?"

 

"I've been trying," Blake says.

 

"Is that what happened with you and Yang?" you ask.

 

"Maybe," she says, and she doesn't even blush.

 

…

 

"Miss me?" you ask as you push open the door to Weiss and Yang's room and dump some stuff on Yang's bed.

 

Weiss is already in her nightclothes, and she puts down the book she is reading as you walk in the door.

 

"Actually, yes," she says dryly. "Believe me, I'm as surprised as you are."

 

"We do make quite a pair, don't we?"

 

"If my father was dead he'd be rolling in his grave."

 

"So would Adam," you say.

 

"Adam? As in Blake's abusive ex-boyfriend, Adam?" She notices the look you give her at that and shrugs. "We do talk, sometimes."

 

"Yeah, that Adam." You can feel yourself going blue, and let it happen. It's been a while since you've tried to hide your colour changes around Weiss. "We used to be friends."

 

She moves across the room to sit next to you on Yang's bed and squeezes your shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. We've all had lapses in judgement."

 

From a lot of other people that would sound hollow, but from Weiss you find you can actually believe it. She's not perfect, and she hasn't always been perfect, but she's trying. She's made her own mistakes, and learned from them, so she doesn't begrudge you yours.

 

You lean into her touch, rest your head on her shoulder, and let yourself fade away slowly back to normal.

 

For a few minutes the two of you just sit there in peaceful quiet, before, hesitantly, she takes her hand from your right shoulder and wraps her arm around you to place it on your left.

 

"Is this alright?" she asks.

 

"Yeah," you say.

 

You sit there pressed against her for a few more minutes, enjoying the contact. Her shoulder is not actually the most comfortable place to be – her collarbone is sharp, and because she is actually shorter than you it's bit of an awkward angle for your neck – but you don't care.

 

"Ilia, what are we doing?" Weiss says, after a while.

 

"You know what we're doing," you say.

 

Her arm tightens around you. "Yeah, I guess I do."

 

Blake's words from a few days ago echo in your head. You raise your head to kiss her cheek. Her breathing stilts, for a second, and she tenses against you. The pale white skin of her cheek turns red under your lips.

 

She turns her head, and suddenly you're meeting her eyes from very very close.

 

"Hey," she says, voice shaky.

 

"Hey," you reply. Her cheeks are red, and you're pretty sure your entire body is pink, and you don't care.

 

"Can I kiss you?" she asks, so soft you can barely hear it, and in answer you move your head closer to brush your lips against hers.

 

She kisses you back, softly at first and then more intensely, and you lose yourself in the feeling of it. Weiss Schnee tastes like mint toothpaste and feels like defiance and you don't ever want to stop. You move a hand up to run through her hair, out of her usual ponytail now, and pull her closer. She gasps against your lips, quietly, and runs her own hand up the back of your neck.

 

When you eventually part you stay close, holding each other. You're smiling so widely it threatens to split your face in two, and you can see your expression mirrored in her.

 

"Well," she says, clearly fighting and failing to maintain her composure, "that was –"

 

"Inevitable," you interrupt, and she rolls her eyes and kisses you again.

 

"You know, you really should buy me dinner first," she teases when you pull apart again.

 

"It's a little late for that," you say, and go in for another kiss. This time, when you part, you say, "but we could do dinner tomorrow, though?"

 

Weiss raises an eyebrow. "Are you asking me out?"

 

"I guess I am," you say.

 

"It's a date, then," she says, and if you'd thought you couldn't smile any wider you were wrong.

 

Maybe this isn't where you thought you would be, all those months ago, but you wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

**Author's Note:**

> And then they make out a bit longer until they realise that the reason they're in this room together is because two of their closest friends kicked Ilia out of her own room for a booty call, and then they feel kind of awkward about the whole thing but keep making out anyway.
> 
> Hey, guys :) I hope you liked the fic. I wanted to get it out before episode eleven inevitably made it impossible for me to get the crew in the same place for this to happen after all.
> 
> I got the idea for these two as a crack pairing after episode eight when I saw someone somewhere describe them as the two most useless lesbians on the show, and immediately decided I wanted to write something where they actually got together in a semi-plausible way, but I wanted to wait until Ilia got her inevitable redemption arc so I didn't have to write all that myself if I didn't have to. So this whole thing was written in about one and a half weeks between episodes ten and eleven. It's a crack ship that's almost certainly never going to actually be canon, but, you know, it's nice to stick as close to canon as you can while you can.
> 
> Some more random trivia/thoughts about the fic:  
> – although I stuck as close to canon as I could, I did technically bend it with Blake's bow. I've always found it kind of weird that she is portrayed as wearing it around the White Fang, though I know that in the black trailer it's just because they don't want to spoil the (admittedly incredibly telegraphed) reveal near the end of season one, and I guess in the season three flashback she has it for continuity reasons and also because it's probably easier to animate her with her standard design. So here she explicitly only picks it up once she leaves.  
> – Blake has enhanced hearing, because she has four ears, but it's not like the nightvision in that not every faunus has enhanced senses. Ilia and Sun, for example, don't have extra ears, so they just have normal hearing. But on the other hand Blake can't change colours or has a prehensile tail, so.  
> – Ash, the random Menagerie volunteer who has a cameo in the first scene, is a male otter faunus. I don't know what his attribute is, though.  
> – Neptune shows up because I can't really see Sun neglecting to find him once they're back in the same city again, and I also can't see Sun just ditching Blake once they get to Mistral.  
> – They spend almost the entire thing training because I didn't want to make up too much of a plot to be nuked by canon :P but also, Raven is very good at hiding with a semblance that literally lets her get across the entire world instantly if she needs to. And, given the six months between Beacon and Haven, and that here they lost, I absolutely see the villains needing to take some time to regroup.  
> – I normally actually headcanon Yang as bi, but I kind of wanted to explore the reasons why some people read her as gay. Hence the scene between her and Weiss, which also let me write their friendship (and, like, holy crap the freezerburn chemistry is real this volume, you guys). This did lead to the fairly unusual situation of me, who generally opts to make people bi by default unless you can give me a fairly good argument otherwise, writing a fic involving four wlw of which three are lesbians, although I don't think I ever explicitly stated that for Weiss.  
> – One of my favourite things is when a couple I ship gets together kind of at the side of the story, like it's pretty clearly acknowledged that it's happening and you see glimpses of it but not the whole thing. So that's kind of what I tried to do with the bumblebee here.  
> – Ilia doesn't have a semblance, both because I couldn't be bothered coming up with one, but also because I remembered that ask the CRWBY answered a while ago where they said that not every good fighter has discovered their semblance - Torchwick never did, for example, and I wanted to explore that a bit.  
> \- I KEEP WRITING IN SECOND PERSON I can’t stop please send help.  
> \- The title is from 'It's Only Life' by The Shins, because I am a pretentious asshole who uses song lyrics and lines of poetry for titles on a semi-regular basis. It's a song I pretty heavily associate with the Ilia&Blake redemption arc, which is a if not the main theme running through here, so it kind of fits?  
> The extent to which I succeeded at achieving any/all of my aims is debatable, but, you know, I tried :P
> 
> ANYWAY thanks for reading! I hope you liked it :D


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